Thursday, June 21, 2007

I Want A Divorce #479

SURFING WITH JESUS #479062007
Pastor Gene A. Dasher, Sr.
gene@SurfingwithJesus.com.

I WANT A DIVORCE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said I've got something to tell you.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking.

"I want a divorce!" I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why"? I avoided her question.

This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to go to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday work-out made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't a divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah...blah...blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage. Thanks for sharing Elizabeth

1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Pastor Gene A. Dasher, Sr., 2355 Parkway Dr SE, Cleveland, TN 37323 Join us in prayer for all request received each week. Read previous writings at: http://surfingwithjesus.blogspot.com/ Send prayer request/Subscribe/Unsubscribe: gene@SurfingwithJesus.com.

Best Gifts For Father's Day #478

SURFING WITH JESUS #478061707
Pastor Gene A. Dasher, Sr.
gene@SurfingwithJesus.com.

BEST GIFTS FOR FATHER'S DAY

As I was pondering what to write for Father's Day I began to think of gifts for this special day. I'm always asked "What do you want for Father's Day?"

Well, I have decided that the best gift I could give my dad for Father's Day is to be in church and worship the Lord Jesus Christ. Although my dad has been gone 22 years I know this is what would please him the most.

Now as I think on it this is exactly the best gift my son and daughter could give me, get up, get ready, go to church and worship our Heavenly Father in spirit and truth. Wow! This is exciting, I think I will do this and receive food for my soul from the Lord.

I guess I'm a little crazy today but without Jesus there is no real Father's Day to me. I'm so thankful my Heavenly Father gave us His son who willing died on the cross for our Salvation. If my Heavenly Father loved me enough to give his only son for me to have hope of eternal life with him my time spent in worshipping Him is a small thing to give on this day.

I don't look at this as a sad day as some who have lost their dad. I look at it as a glorious time as I ponder my precious father and father-in-law rejoicing around the throne of God. What a legacy these two left me to hunger and thirst after the righteousness of God and seek him with all my heart. One of these days, my journey will be completed here on earth and I too will have a Happy Father's Day with Jesus and those gone on before me.

I love my earthly father more and more today because of the values and faith in God he passed on to me. And, it goes without saying I know I love my Heavenly Father more each day as I grow in him. It does get sweeter as the days go by.

If you still have an earthly father, take time to honor him today, if your dad is gone pick out someone else and honor them on this special day. Every time you take time to love and honor your dad or an adopted dad for the day you will receive more from them than you give.

Have a wonderful time of fellowship this day, remember the Lord, your Heavenly Father, and creator and be blessed today

1John 1: 9 “If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Pastor Gene A. Dasher, Sr., 2355 Parkway Dr SE, Cleveland, TN 37323
Join us in prayer for all request received each week.
Read previous writings at: http://surfingwithjesus.blogspot.com/
Send prayer request/Subscribe/Unsubscribe: gene@SurfingwithJesus.com.

Who I Am Makes A Difference #477

SURFING WITH JESUS #477061207
Pastor Gene A. Dasher, Sr.
gene@SurfingwithJesus.com.

WHO I AM MAKES A DIFFERENCE
Author Unknown

A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in High School by telling them the difference each of them had made. She called each student to the front of the class, one at a time.

First, she told each of them how they had made a difference to her, and the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon, imprinted with gold letters, which read, "Who I Am Makes a Difference."

Afterwards, the teacher decided to do a class project, to see what kind of impact recognition would have on a Community. She gave each of the students three more blue ribbons, and instructed them to go out and spread this acknowledgment ceremony.

Then they were to follow up on the results, see who honored whom, and report to the class in about a week.

One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby Company, and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon, and put it on his shirt.

Then he gave him two extra ribbons and said, "We're doing a class project on recognition, and we'd like for you to go out, find somebody to honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person, to keep this acknowledgment ceremony going. Then please report back to me and tell me what happened."

Later that day, the junior executive went in to see his boss, who had been noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss down, and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius. The boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon, and would he give him permission to put it on him. His surprised boss said, "Well, sure." The junior executive took the blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss's jacket, above his heart. As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he said, "Would you take this extra ribbon, and pass it on by honoring somebody else. The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school, and we want to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects people."

That night, the boss came home to his 14-year-old son, and sat him down. He said, "The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my office, and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me, and gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine! He thinks I am a creative genius! Then he put a blue ribbon that says, "Who I Am Makes a Difference", on my jacket above my heart. He gave me an extra rib bon and asked me to find somebody else to honor. As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honor with this ribbon, and I thought about you. I want to honor you. My days are hectic and when I come home, I do not pay a lot of attention to you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school, and for your bedroom being a mess. Somehow, tonight, I just wanted to sit here and, well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me. Besides your mother, you are the most important person in my life. You're a great kid, and I love you!"

The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he could not stop crying His whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his tears,

" Dad , earlier tonight I sat in my room and wrote a letter to you and Mom , explaining why I had taken my own life, and I asked you to forgive me. I was going to commit suicide tonight after you were asleep.

I just did not think that you cared at all. The letter is upstairs. I don't think I need it after all."

His father walked upstairs and found a heartfelt letter full of anguish and pain.

The boss went back to work a changed man. He was no longer a grouch, but made sure to let all of his employees know that they made a difference.

The junior executive helped other young people with career planning, and never forgot to let them know that they made a difference in his life...one being the boss' son. In addition, the young boy and his classmates learned a valuable lesson, "Who you are DOES make a difference".

You are under no obligation to pass this on to anyone.... not to two people, or to two hundred. As far as I am concerned, you can forget it and move on. On the other hand, if you want, you could send it to all of the people who mean something to you, or send it to the one, two, or three people who mean the most.

On the other hand, just smile and know that I think that you are important, or you would not have received this in the first place. Who you are does make a difference, and I wanted you to know that.

Isn't this a wonderful story? I'm passing the blue ribbon to you, for who YOU are does make a difference, too.

May GOD BLESS YOU. Have an awesome day, and know that someone has thought about you today! Because you are special and you have made a difference in my life.

1John 1: 9 “If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sinsins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Pastor Gene A. Dasher, Sr., 2355 Parkway Dr SE, Cleveland, TN 37323
Join us in prayer for all request received each week.
Read previous writings at: http://surfingwithjesus.blogspot.com/
Send prayer request/Subscribe/Unsubscribe: gene@SurfingwithJesus.com.